Archive | March 2018

The Walking Dead

How do we shift from ambition to meaning? So many of us wake up each day, drink our coffee, sit in rediculous traffic, work at jobs that leave us feeling empty and at times angry. We then get back in our cars, do all the things that are expected of us, go to bed and start all over the next day. The next thing you know, you’re on your death bed wondering what the hell you did with your life. You wonder, am I going to die with my purpose still inside of me? Why did I not face my fears of the unknown when it could have led me to a life of true joy and meaning?

Are we living out what we know we are supposed to be doing or are we continually shoving that feeling back down inside of us like an over stuffed suitcase? I believe that feeling is the Holy Spirit continually prodding at us. It’s that small quiet voice in the depth of our knowing. Yet, we keep on marching the death walk never stopping to notice the beauty around us. We never notice how the robin turns it’s ear towards the grass to hear it’s next meal just below the surface,or the sunrise with it’s cotton candy hues. We miss the way the spring breeze carries the flower petals from the plum tree softly across our feet.

It’s like looking out of a tall building and seeing all the tiny little cars moving about like ant colonies. Everyone going this way and that. I can just hear the sound of the marching rhythm and it’s hypnotic trance. When will we wake up and see with our souls instead of our clouded visions of anger, ambition , accumulation and sense of entitlement?

Have we become a land of the walking dead giving no thought to what we may truly desire outside of material things? The walking dead can’t serve others. Nor can they hear God’s small soft voice directing their paths. We’ve become consumed with cell phones, gaming systems and noise. Restaurants are filled with people face down into their phones instead of talking to each other. It’s seems that people have forgotten the art of conversation.

The walking dead seem to be easily offended over every little thing other people say and do. Why not focus on what we are for verses what we are against?

Take a look at the prayer of St Francis:

“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.

Watch the news and notice how we are so out of line with this prayer. Then again, perhaps we should shut our televisions OFF. Take time to be in silence. Take a walk early in the morning. Talk to your friends about things that really matter.

Schedule down-time with the energy you put into work, meetings and deadlines as though it was the most important thing in the world, because it is. Make time to be kind. Stop spending your days like the living dead and wake up.

Wake up.

This entry was posted on March 29, 2018. 1 Comment

What’s Your Story?

Several years ago when I was single, a friend of mine wanted me to meet her at one of the little sports bars in town. I figured that wouldn’t be too bad since it was close by and I could grab a bite to eat. It would be good to catch up with her as well because we hadn’t seen each other in quite some time.

It felt uncomfortable waiting alone in such a crowded place. It was noisy and jam packed with people talking. When she arrived I was surprised to see that she was with several of her friends. There would clearly be no catching up.

She introduced me to everyone before we were all able to get a seat. While waiting for our table I noticed how involved everyone was in their conversations, the clothes they wore, the jewelry. I wondered to myself why it was so hard for me to jump in and converse with strangers. I thought that perhaps I wasn’t dressed as nice as I should have been either.

I also felt slightly amused that one of the guys in the group had a white T-shirt on that looked about three sizes too small for his muscular upper half. We were all finally seated and he leaned in real close to me and said: “So what’s your story? You see so and so over there? She’s been divorced twice. I’ve been divorced once and my buddy here, he’s been divorced three times.”

Embarrassed, I looked down at my watch and responded that my story was that I would be leaving as soon as dinner was over. He was not amused.

Being divorced wasn’t a badge of honor for me. It was a sign of failure in my mind and not something I wanted to discuss with a group of strangers, especially not Mr. Tight-v-neck t-shirt guy.

What’s the story you tell yourself? Are you too shy to talk to strangers or to make new friends? Maybe you feel you don’t deserve to be happy or to have the things or experiences you want. Maybe people in your childhood convinced you that you were less- than.

Over the years I started catching myself when I would tell myself these stories. I realized that what I spent time thinking about determined the quality of the life I was living. I became less afraid to try new things and in the process I started to feel alive. I felt joy for the first time. Talking to strangers does not even phase me now. If I want something and I can afford it, I get it.

No longer am I embarrassed of my story because it’s made me who I am today. Mistakes or certain experiences have a way of refining us.

Never EVER tell yourself a story that disempowers you. No one can make us feel unimportant, useless, or stupid unless we allow them to.

This entry was posted on March 14, 2018. 4 Comments

The Sound of the Train

The other day as I was walking outside, I could hear a train off in the distance. The sound instantly brought me back to our time together in your little apartment house. I remembered how warm you were and how calm I felt as we listened in the dark to the sound of it going down the tracks. The darkness didn’t feel scary with you there and the sound of the train as it hummed down the track seemed to represent my life. Going by me so fast, yet still on track, maybe not the way I had envisioned it but none the less, somehow in perfect synchronicity .

I was right where I was supposed to be at that moment in time. Memories of my sweet Italian grandparents and the safety they symbolized to me, came flooding back. Being back home after so many years seemed good for the first time. All those years your face would come into my mind out of the blue and I would ask God “why?” with no answer, then I would just brush off the memory and continue whatever task I was doing.

Perhaps He was giving me a glimpse into our future, but we didn’t know it as we were going through our individual trials. The book of Psalms talks about God planning every day of our lives out before we are even born. I believe that very much.

Listening to the train, I felt the warmth of the sun and a breeze was blowing the leaves off the trees. I admired the way they swirled and swayed softly to the ground. It was almost like they were falling in slow motion. I compared my life to that scene and how certain things must be cut off from us or shed before we can become new. Like the leaves falling from the tree’s, everything changes so that new leaves, and sometimes flower buds can be born. The old must leave so that the new can begin.

So it is with us. We have been given a chance to shed our old lives and start completely fresh. We hold close to our hearts those that came to us from our previous lives and intertwine them into the new, never regretting that part. We shed jealousy, pettiness and the trivial to live in the present moment and realize the great blessing each moment holds as long as we stop long enough to drink it in.

The train stopped to pick us up at the right moment. It is taking us to the place that we’ve longed for for so long. Had we been younger, we wouldn’t have been the same people we are today in many ways. There are still struggles but I know that the power of two is always better than one, so thank you for the ticket to get on board. Love you.

This entry was posted on March 4, 2018. 2 Comments